2020 Farewell

Where can I begin to describe 2020?  It was a hard year, one of the hardest, and one that will go down in history.  Not just for me, but for everyone I know.  Every person has a story to tell about their struggles and experiences of 2020.  The events of the year were life changing.  It is so hard to know where to begin, since many topics deserve their own page, not simply a paragraph and a picture.   There was much suffering and sadness and it was filled with uncertainty.  But, there was one bright spot that stood out, one moment of happiness that shines through the darkness.  Each for our own reason, my family will find peace in memories of this day. 

2019 flew by without an update nor the traditional end of the year summary.  Maybe I can blame my lack of interest in the blog to writers block, burnout, or stress and lack of focus.  Life events happened.  There was Connor's High School graduation. John and his sisters lost their sweet Mother, Carmen.  And my Carmen became engaged to her Rocco.
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As for the farm, the best I can recall, a pole barn was built on top of the hill, which remains empty for the most part.  Work continued on the pond, and the garden was a bust.  My she-shed was completed in the basement, and the milk room was added to the goat barn.  Sadly for me, the horses found a new home where they could enjoy riding again.  I sold some goats and planned for less babies in anticipation of a 2020 spring wedding.  

The date was set for May 30, 2020, and for the remainder of 2019, wedding planning was in full swing.  My Mom and Dad were beyond excited to have a second wedding on their farm.  To my Dad, it was a reason to keep fighting the battle.  He had a goal, to be there to see it through.  A perfect Gazebo was built on the wedding spot for the bride and groom, and the venue was planned and prepared.  Mom worried and analyzed every detail.  Carmen and I shared Pinterest images and searched for the perfect theme: a rustic, Tuscan farm wedding.    As winter came, one that was milder than usual, I spent much of my time indoors making bottle lights and growing herbs for table decorations.  

As 2020 began, a few new arrivals joined the farm.
​The pond was completed.

From mid March, 2020 through April, May and June, came the onset of COVID-19.  Everything was shut down with the hopes of preventing the inevitable spread of the virus.  Events were cancelled and forbidden by orders of the Governor - including Carmen and Rocco's May wedding.  Life was temporarily put on hold in the name of a Pandemic.  There were plans to change, and reservations to cancel or postpone.  Decorations were stuffed in a box and stored in the attic for a later date.  At the time, we didn't know until when, maybe Spring 2021?  The pandemic held everyone hostage, not knowing when life would resume. 

The dark clouds and negative energy loomed over many households, including ours.   John wrecked and totaled his new truck in May.  Luckily, and by a miracle he was not injured.  On the last Sunday in June, I fell and broke my ankle.  Surgery, hospitalization and 6 weeks of non weight bearing misery took its toll.  John and Connor took their turns feeding the flock and keeping the herd alive.  My refrigerator died.  A replacement was hard to find because most were on backorder due to shutting down of factories.  The oven on my stove quit working, as did the heat pump to the upstairs.  What else could happen?

By early August, we got the news - Dad's Cancer was back.  

He had surgery for removal of the tumor on 8/31, and a new wedding date was set for October 17, 2020. The next few short weeks were a blur of activity - finalizing reservations, dress fittings, buying and finalizing the plan.  Carmen and Rocco went over the guest list, trying to downsize and keeping it as safe as possible.  My brother, nephew and friend were busy practicing music and selecting songs to play at the event.  Mowing, weed eating, trimming, cleaning until finally, the week arrived.  Meanwhile, Dad endured chemo and daily trips to the hospital for radiation. 

Beginning Wednesday before the wedding, I had a stuffy nose and a cold.  (Was it really a cold?? I had to get tested!  Stress and more stress, but thankfully the test was Negative). 

Two days before the big day, Dad was feeling worse.  His breathing was more labored than usual, and his heart was racing.  His doctor agreed to see him, and he was admitted to the hospital.  

Early Saturday morning, Dad called with the news.  "I'm coming to the wedding.  I'm checking myself out and your sister is on her way to get me.  The doctors are arranging portable oxygen."  Ok Dad, I told him.  You have to be here.  We will all take good care of you.  "I know you will"  he said. 

And, it was a beautiful day.  The perfect day for a perfect wedding. 

He went back to the hospital that evening and stayed a few days before being discharged home.  His body was weak and tired from the long fight.  On December 17, exactly two months following the day of the wedding, his family, my mother, my brother, my sister, and I lost the most important  man in our lives.  He gave us all many gifts.  He gave the gift of unconditional love, and never ending support and encouragement. He shared with us his knowledge and his talents.   In the end, he gave us the gift of this beautiful memory.  

The saga of 2020 continued a little longer with my oldest son and my ex husband and father of my children contracting the COVID-19 virus.  It was a rocky road for them both and thankfully, as of today, they are improving.  

Farewell 2020.  You will never be forgotten. 
2021 brings continued uncertainty on many fronts, along with a glimmer of hope that the pandemic may eventually be reduced as we stumble our way through to another year.